As soon as we pulled out of the driveway, you launched into a series of stories about "Schneider" and how he is so demanding and how people leave constructively critical "notes" evaluating your evolution as an actress. Mariah talked about being receptive to feedback, and how important it is to connect with the audience.
While you were talking, I began to get distracted by the intelligence in your voice. Although I tried to keep my eyes on the highway, I kept looking in the rearview mirror at the animation in your face as you shared your stories. I got lost in the moment... where has time gone? Who is this young woman? She is beautiful, inside and out. She is kind, and mature, and asking all of the right questions about life.
Then I told you and Mariah about the paradoxical danger of the stage. It is a blessing and a curse. It is life giving and soul crushing. It can become an addiction; the praise of men is hollow. I told you the old legend about a Desert Father who advised a young disciple to go back to the local graveyard and see how the tombstones are receptive to either praise or criticism; the obvious lack of response by the dead is an indication that they are completely unaffected by popularity or insults.
"You need to guard your heart, and create enough health in your heart to not let compliments inflate your ego, or criticisms to deflate your purpose." I told you stories of people lining up to pinch my cheeks and affirm my preaching as performance, but in the same breath they will curse me and turn away. It almost destroyed me.
When I pulled off the highway to our exit, Mariah asked, "Can we take the long way home?" I wasn't sure why, but you added, "We like talking to you, daddy." You weren't quite ready to end the conversation. You loved talking with your father. There was an intimacy in the journey, and a longing to know more.
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There is a story in the Old Testament about the Children of Israel being delivered from Egypt. After a bloody battle across the Red Sea, the Text reads that God did not lead His Children home to the Promised Land through the direct route (through Philistine Country) "because that was shorter..."
Did you catch that?
God intentionally took His Children through the dessert, because that was the long way home. And in the journey, they would learn to trust Him. In the struggle with doubt and despair, they would learn about the faithful provision of their Father.
Sometimes taking the long way home will test your patience. Sometimes you will get car sick and nauseous. Sometimes you'll just want to arrive at the Promised Land. But the Father will remind you that it was that journey in the wilderness when I experienced a deeper level of love with you.
