A Walk to Remember

This afternoon we went to a private beach on the south side of Holland. While Mariah was at rehearsal for Annie, Teresa and I took you and Ashlyn to the beach. It was a beautiful afternoon, and although the water was cold, you and Teresa walked out into the water.

Ashlyn climbed on to Teresa's shoulders and gave her a Mud Massage. Meanwhile, you and I took a long walk down the beach and I took the opportunity to make up for lost time. You held my hand and I told you how PROUD of I am of your recent cast call for Chitty Chitty-Bang Bang at Holland High School.

Last week you called me all excited and said that you were going to audition for this performance. I responded with some reluctance because I was afraid that it would mean that you might not be able to go on vacation with us to Asheville over Thanksgiving. I am SO SORRY that I didn't sound more excited for you, and I should have let you know that I support you, and you make me proud.

I think you were jealous of Mariah getting all the attention, and when it was your turn, I wasn't as supportive. But tonight I realized that you need to be affirmed, and you are amazing all by yourself. So as it turns out, you needed to hear it from me, that I will be going crazy for you - screaming your name as you come out in the ensemble.

I told you that I wished I could see you every day. I miss North Carolina, when I could tuck you in every night. I miss talking walks to the Tire Swing, and seeing the horses. I told you how sorry I am for my contribution to the end of our marriage, and then you asked why we got divorced.

I explained that I made terrible mistakes and that I hurt your mom. I told you that I have a lot of regrets about lying and making inappropriate decisions. I also told you the truth that nobody is perfect, but that I am hoping that one day I will be fully forgiven. I asked you if you forgive me, and you said yes.

I will always be honest with you about my mistakes. I hope I can teach you that it's ok to mess up and I will still, always, love you. No matter what.

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When we finally picked up Mariah after her rehearsal, we all walked around downtown Holland. We stopped for Frozen Yogurt, and I took this picture of my four loves.

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